I’m really just using the X word as a springboard to get where I want to go. Forgive me? (That will be funny, perhaps, later.)
Lightning god , associated with Venus and the underworld, is sometimes said to be the dark twin of Quetzalcoatl.
Light and Dark Aspects
Xolotl, the dark aspect of the morning sun—Venus—is not, I reckon, unassociated with Lucifer. Fun, eh?
You know the Evil Twin Dilemma? I sure do. Typically there is some sort of prophesy that accompanies such 
a pair in fiction—one must destroy the other, however, if one dies so does the other—or at least the other transforms (usually in an undesirable way). Think Harry and Voldemort.
The Man in the Iron Mask.
Cain and Able.[1]
Bad Superman and Bad Spiderman.
Jacob and Esau.
Soap Operas.[2]
I always think of this horrible 1990s Drew Barrymore film, Doppelgänger.
I had (have?) an older sister that thought (thinks?)—or at least always said—that I was her “dark-half.” Given the family resemblance, she said that I was her evil twin. Here’s the kicker—I always saw her as devious and a little cruel, so what did that make me? If I was her dark-half? Feck me! I was (am?) a decade younger and idolized her to some extent. Wanting to imagine myself as part of her in any way, I embodied the persona of evil-sister, bad-seed, wicked-witch so that she could wear the “white” robe. I did this for far too much of my life. I even went so far as to adopt the designation “The Bad Witch.”
WDE! Spencer and I share an Alma Mater
I once indicated that some find it easy to season Octavia Spencer Pie, but in fairness, I guess I swallowed my share of that shite too.
This brings me to Shit Eaters.
A shit-eater, eater of filth, or sin-eater is a spiritual healer found in various traditions[3]; this healer uses a very specific ritual (typically revolving around food) to liberate the dying of their sins.[4] In this ritual cleansing, the sin-eater takes upon herself the sins of the people she serves so that they can go about their business unburdened by their own transgressions.[5] The sins are literally consumed through food and drink. The contemporary parallel to this might be the bartender. Face it; there is a bit of a ritual that goes with getting a drink at a bar—especially if you expect to pour your soul out to your server.[6]
Because they are the receptacles of all others’ shite, carrying around sins of others, sin-eaters are often imagined as necessary outcasts. We know to keep the septic tank a bit away from the house, now don’t we? But WTF would we do without a septic tank at all?[7] Wallow in it, I reckon.
Tlazolteotl, with whom I over-identified in the 90s (and 00s, and 10s).
Tlazolteotl, the great Aztec goddess of sex and childbirth, is also known as the Eater of Filth or Shit and Sin-Eater. Yea, yea. That sounds like a horrible thing with which to be associated. And it kinda is—if you’re human, which I am. But Tlazolteotl is a redemptive goddess. One would confess him/herself to Tlazolteotl who would absolve his/her soul of misdeeds; thus shriven, the individual is able to forego punishment. I have been the repository of many a soul’s dark secrets. I’m (unintentionally) like a cosmic bartender + hairdresser + priest + psychiatrist who has listened (sometimes, I admit, aghast) to folks confess crimes, dishonesties, sexual debasements (and I’m pretty open-minded!), violent fantasies, marital indiscretions (when monogamy is expected), and sometimes a combination of these shades of grey.
Back in the day, I had a really inappropriate relationship with a professor. Not that kind of inappropriate, y’all, though you’re not the first to think it. I became ensnared in a relationship where I became his Tlazoteotl—I became his confessor and absolver. He told me things that make my hair stand on end, even today. I adored him; he was my academic mentor. He introduced me to the middle-generation for whom I fell so hard. He should have been the one to teach me Jeffers—he would have understood. But he had a dark-streak. Who knows, he prolly still has it. And somehow, I ended up being the redeemer of his darkness. Until one day I said, Enough. Really haven’t heard much from him since.
But the relationship affected the way I thought of myself—as a Sin Eater.
Like being my sister’s dark half.
And now, a little later in life than it should have happened (but better than not happening at all) I have to come to terms with all of the shit I have taken from and for others. I don’t mind wearing the face of the dark mother but I don’t want to be the cosmic-hairdresser anymore. I find myself walking away when someone starts to tell a “gory” story. Merh. I’ve had my share.
I think this connects to my mid-life Witchy crisis that I mentioned earlier when talking about aspiration names. I mean, I ditched The Bad Witch Files and am ready to turn it over to Hazey come 1/1/13. I’ve turned a page on some family relationships and some community associations. My immediate family has taken on a new dynamic as well. I live with a bunch of grown and nearly-grown people who no longer need the face of the mother.[8] Funny, when I was young, I did the whole death-thing. Wonder what will happen now that I’m croning? Wonder who I’ll become this time.
And here’s a funny note—you know those people who make jabs at you for changing? For evolving? Funniest part is that those are typically the people who are trying to go backward, to regain a past (usually a romanticized nostalgic personal fiction), to relive something they should have outgrown.
Let them be. Let them jab. Become.
It’s time I take my own advice.
This post is part of a year-long project. Rowan Pendragon’s The Pagan Blog Project; “a way to spend a full year dedicating time each week very specifically to studying, reflecting, and sharing . . . . The project consists of a single blog post each week posted on prompt that will focus on a letter of the alphabet” (http://paganblogproject/).
[1] I love T.V. Tropes and Idioms: “[The] one who Missed the Call gets overly jealous that the other has become The Chosen One. . . . now one’s the hero and one’s the villain, and they must do battle. Commence the angst.”
And now I’m just clicking links, play along? Evil Twin > Evil Counterpart > Enemy Without > The Big Bad > The Big Bad Wannabe. Have I mentioned that I love T.V. Tropes and Idioms?
[2] Adam and Stuart Chandler of All My Children.
[3] The sin-eater, Tlazolteotl, is Aztec. There seem to be a number of Mesoamerican gods and goddesses to serve similar functions. Of course, there is the scapegoat. But, surprisingly (to me, anyway) I have found sources that point to the idea of a sin-eater as also associated with the British Isles. This surprises me because scapegoating does not really jive with Nordic and Bardic ideas of personal responsibility, the web of life, the afterlife/otherworld, etc. I can’t find a source to prove it, but I can only imagine that sin-eating must have come through the very early Roman Empire from the Jewish(therefore eventually Christian)/Middle-Eastern scapegoat.
[4] The sin-eater not only shrives the moribund of sin, thereby saving him or her from a trip to the bad version of his or her underworld, but because the sin-eater helps the dying circumvent the prospect of wandering the earth for eternity, the sin-eater helps the living as well.
[5] The Roman Catholic Church excommunicated sin-eaters, not because of the sins they carried, but because they subverted the power of priests who alone could administer absolution and Last Rites to the dying. Whatever.
[6] I’ve not been on either side of this exchange but I’ve watched it happen. It ain’t pretty.
[7] I used to say this about communal bodies—every healthy body needs a liver with which to filter out all of the shite. I am forever grateful for my community’s liver. I hope it never gets cirrhosis.
[8] And a ton of animals. More than I hoped left the herd in 2012 and more variety than I expected joined the flock this autumn, hmmm. And it looks like there will be a (well contained) constrictor of some sort to join the mix by summer.
Witchcraft From Scratch 